Just a warning before I start my blog post if you find it difficult to read birth stories that are a little traumatic please give this one a miss. I don’t want to scare anyone in any way with this post and I understand that some people are triggered by stories like this (I used to be one of them).
I have toyed for a while with telling this story and it’s only now that I have seen both sides of birth that I feel I can. In hindsight I now wish that rather than shying away from birth stories and the facts about giving birth with my 1st pregnancy that I had soaked it all in like I did with my second because I had a much more positive experience because of it.
So here it is my 1st birth story….
So ten days after my due date and the day after a good old sweep (all dignity out of the window from here) no signs of baby. I went shopping with my mum and sister, had lunch and bought baby girl a beautiful rag doll which she still has now. Myself and my mum came home on the world’s bumpiest bus and as I got up to get off I remember thinking ooooohhhh something doesn’t feel right….
My mum took me home and the only way I can describe it is that I felt like everything had dropped. Still no signs of baby by bedtime and so I went to sleep a bit excited and nervous in my head I think I knew something was starting…..
Around midnight I started to get the worst back pain, the only thing that would soothe it was a hot shower so I stood in the shower to take the edge off and took the paracetamol recommended (hahahahaha)…
I waited as long as I could but finally rang the maternity unit and they suggested coming in. We picked my mum up on the way and upon arriving I had a check to see how dilated I was. At this point I was having to stop for the contractions and I remember thinking please god be enough….luckily I was 5 centimetres and they agreed to get me to a birthing pool.
At this point things were so calm and lovely the water really helped with the pain. I could here screams in the room next door and the midwife was great at keeping me calm. I took the gas and air once I started to panic and felt this helped me to control my breathing….
After what seemed like forever and lots of internal exams the midwife explained I wasn’t progressing and they were concerned for baby. I had been so calm up until this point and felt the panic wash over me. She said she would like to break my waters to get things moving. I agreed and from there to be honest it’s a bit of a blur….
We were moved from the lovely birthing pool room to a delivery room and I was lay on my back with monitors everywhere. There seemed to be people in and out of the room constantly. My poor mum and partner were amazing and if have told me after how scared they were but they didn’t show it at the time. I was given something else for the pain which made me sick and feel so out of it I kept forgetting where I was….
At one point a lovely midwife asked me if I had though about having a C -section …. My mum had told me not too and in all honesty I didn’t know much about it …. the nurse explained that the way the baby was lay meant the doctor would need to intervene and she really thought I should consider it her eyes said everything I needed to know and at this point I agreed and the anaesatist arrived soon after ….
It’s all very blurry from here …. I remember feeling sick and pushing so hard because I didn’t want anyone ‘helping’ to get the baby out …. after what seemed like forever and with so many people in and out the doctor came in and attempted to turn the baby…. she was then delivered with forceps and an episiotomy (I won’t go into too much detail here) …. hearing that 1st cry is indescribable …..
She was cleaned up and put onto my chest for skin to skin while I was stitched up …. I remember thinking I would drop her I was so weak that was because unknown to me at the time I had lossed so much blood …. she was amazing …. love at 1st sight …. even covered in gunk and with her poor head swollen from the forceps …. she went straight in to feed on my breasts and just like that I was a mum!
After a few hours sleep we were transferred to a ward and instead of sleeping I sat up all night watching my baby sleep …. she didn’t cry once and I was so worried something was wrong I checked her breathing constantly …. the other babies on the ward were testing out there lungs but she lay so peaceful …. I studied her that just drank in everything about her…. counting her fingers and toes …. watching her nose twitching as she slept…. and just like that she was here.
Thanks for reading …. I’m planning on my next few blogs being about post natal care and my 2nd birth which was the polar opposite I promise!
See you next time …. Laura xxx